Musical Taste

A friend recently told me that I have good taste in music even though she didn't like any music that I played for her.

That got me thinking about all the music snobs I know (I'm one of them - guilty as charged) and how absolutely arrogant it is to think that one's taste in music is more valid than anyone else's.  

I am the first to admit that I have judged people for their choices in music and I am ashamed of myself for doing so.  Just because I like something doesn't mean everyone else should.  Everyone is different and we should celebrate our uniqueness - not try to make everyone conform to our own views.

So if listening to One Direction or Backstreet Boys makes you happy, then go on listening!   Who are any of us to judge?

My friend politely listened to my music and didn't like it.  It doesn't mean that her taste in music is bad and it also doesn't mean that my taste in music is good - we just disagree.  And that's ok.

I think people should be free to listen to what makes them happy without being judged.   There are a lot of bands and songs that I play simply because they lift my spirits when I'm feeling down.  80s music generally has that effect - particularly Monster Ballads.  I also like some rap, pop, metal, grunge and the ever popular "vaguely folkish alterna-rock".

This post is getting disorganized and long-winded.  My point is that no one has good or bad taste in music, everyone just has something they like and it's perfectly fine for them to like it.

Peace out.

It's none of your business.

Recently, I've been having conversations with people that go like this:

Unnamed Party: So, how long have you lived in Ireland?

Me: Almost 9 years.

UP: Wow! What brought you here?

Me: I married an Irish guy.

UP: How long have you been married?

Me: 9 years.

UP: How many kids do you have?  

Let's stop here.  Yes, they will ask me how many kids do I have.  Not, "do you have kids?" but how many.  Most people just assume that I have them.   When I say none, they ask me when I plan on having them. When I say that I don't plan on having any, the reactions vary from shock to silent judgement.  I've been told that I'm selfish and many people have said to me that I think that way now but I will most likely have children in the future.

No I won't.

I am 35 years old.  I would hope that by this time, I'd know my own mind.

I object to these conversations on many levels.  Firstly, I think it's an incredibly personal thing to ask someone, let alone draw them into a discussion about it and try to force your opinion on that person.  If someone doesn't want children, why is that a big deal?  Why can't people respect my choice?  It is mine, after all, not theirs.

Secondly, what if I desperately wanted children but couldn't have them?  How awful would it be for me if someone kept bringing up the subject?

Bottom line is that it's really no one's business.  My husband and I have made a choice to not have children.  I shouldn't have to defend that choice to anyone.  

 I do not ever try to force any of my beliefs or opinions on anyone else because they are just that - opinions.  I can't prove that the way I think is the right way.  Something that is right for you may not be right for me.